I could never quit my job.
I could never stay at home with my kids.
I could never meditate.
I could never be a vegan.
I could never eat meat again.
I could never drive a minivan.
I could never teach yoga.
I could never start a blog.
When making a tough decision, this technique has been my coping mechanism for narrowing down choices. If I could never do it, then I could delete that possibility from my options. But, here is the thing... those things that I internally said, "I could never" to for no apparent reason, KEPT COMING BACK. They would haunt my thoughts and cloud my dreams. And after much time, courage, and faith, guess what? I DID them or am in the process of doing them now!
Why is it that the things that I resisted the most ended up being what my heart was called to do? I have come to realize it was FEAR. If an idea felt exciting and bold when I thought of it, I would shut down those 'risky' feelings by telling myself it was in no way possible. If I didn't have that idea as an option, I wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of making the change. I was afraid of what would happen if I did entertain the thought. I would be risking failure and I might look like I didn't know what I was doing. I was afraid of losing people's respect, high regard, or the image they had of who I was. I would be exposing my vulnerability which was terrifying.
Since realizing that my 'red flags' where the '"I could never" statements, I have been trying to notice when they pop up and in what areas of my life. I have also tried to shift the "I could never" statement to either, "I want to", "I don't want to", or "I need more time to decide how I feel". Putting it into these terms, I take back some of the power of being able to choose what I want and need while defusing some of the fear. It doesn't delete the fear, but it prevents it from running the show.
How about you? What in your life have you said, "I could never" to based out of resistance and fear? Could you make the shift to focus on your wants and needs while viewing your fears for what they are?
Namaste~
Amber
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| Pigs didn't actually fly... |
I really liked this one Amber. I have caught myself saying that very thing. Only mine was "I could never...get a divorce!" Or, "I could never...start school." "I could never...find love again." And, "I could never...get a promotion at work." But, I have done, or in the process of doing all those things. Surprisingly enough the "I could nevers" made me stronger and more confident in myself and my abilities. Thank you for sharing that, it really made me think of all the times I had said that very thing, and been wrong.
ReplyDeleteSami- Thank you so much for sharing your experience as well. I KNEW I couldn't be the only one. :) And you are right...it was the things that I resisted the most based out of fear, then ended up doing, that made me stronger and more in line with my authentic self.
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