The Path Not Yet Taken

Today was a perfect day for an adventure for our family. The weather was a crisp 57 degrees, my husband and I were both off work for the day, and my boys and I were feeling rather stir-crazy from being out of our normal routine for the past week. We decided to pack up a picnic lunch and head out to a local nature area for a hike and to let the boys throw rocks into the water to their hearts content.

Once there, the boys followed the trail down to the creek and got right to stone throwing. The Oldest One noticed that there was a thin layer of ice and made a game of setting flat rocks on the ice gently, then pushing them to slide them across and into the water. He also found a rock that he said looked like a fire's flame and another that reminded him of an apple slice. (They really did resemble those things!) Into the pocket they went to add to his collection. The Littlest One gave a few big rocks a toss to watch the splash, then convinced us all that it was time for lunch.

After eating our sandwiches, pretzels, and oranges under a pavilion, we decided to take another trail that lead the opposite direction. We walked along and the Littlest One found a tree trunk that had partially split, so that the majority of it laid across the ground at exactly the right height for him to sit and bounce on. "Look, I am on a teeter-totter!" The simplicity of the natural material and the complexity of his imagination was not lost on me.

The Littlest One going under and over fallen log to forge a path.

 We meandered on down the path to where we had to cross some rocks in water to get down to where the creek was deeper. We then decided to take the small side path to wind our way back to the main trial, which caused us to have to cross another part of the creek, to walk along a fallen log balance-beam style, and to scramble up the side of the creek bank using exposed tree roots to pull us up. We worked as a team to help one another across, giving the boys to each take turns along the path to be the leader. Their sense of adventure, excitement, and pride in our ability to find our way back to the trail was contagious.

Mama and her boys pausing on a large fallen log.

Finally, after walking a few more minutes admiring the large cliffs that surrounded us, we made it to the large overhanging rock. I imagined that it was once used for a hideout for Jesse James. Today it was used to make loud echo sounds, to add our names written in the sand with a large stick, and for throwing even more rocks into the water at the mouth of the 'cave'.

Rock throwing and name writing at the water's edge.

Daddy and his boys inside the 'cave'.

Once our names were written, we headed back towards the car. We decided to take the adventuring a little farther and climb up a steep hill to walk along the top of the ridge. I have done a little bit of technical rock climbing before and a good amount of backpacking/hiking/scrambling along paths, but I will admit...this was my first time navigating such a steep route with a 2 year old and 5 year old. My "Mama worry" came out and I did my best to swallow it, breathe, and focus on what I was telling them. "Trust your feet...pay attention to where you are putting your hands and feet and go slow...you know exactly what to do." We made it up, across a narrow path along the ridge, then down a tricky hill (where there was no path at all) half by holding onto each others' hands and tree trunks, and the other half by having the boys scoot down the slope on their bottoms on the fallen leaves. Our confidence was at an all time high when we rejoined the main trail and we were adventuring indeed!

A few moments later the Littlest One was getting tired. I told him that we were almost there and pointed through the trees to where we could see the pavilion where we had eaten lunch, right next to the parking lot. I told him that we would just walk up to that path that was veering off to the left and we would be there. He looked at the path ahead, then looked through the trees and pointed towards the pavilion. "I am going that way...I can do it myself." Now, with all of the bushwhacking we had already done and the fact the end was just an easy minute walk, I was feeling resistant to him wanting to forge his way through the thicket of vines and underbrush. Plus, his is the Littlest One...and I often think of him as that, rather than the emerging independent soon-to-be three-year-old that he is. I tried to convince him to come with us. "Look...the path is right there. We don't need to go through there...there are thorns that might get you." "That is okay. I can just pull them out of the way and walk through. Like this..." and before I could give my rebuttal he walked off the trail and into the open forest. As I watched him confidently pull hanging vines to the side and step through, I looked at my husband and smiled. "Okay...go ahead then." He reminded me determinedly, "I do it myself!" My husband shook his head and walked up the path to meet him at the other side. "We have a Robert Frost on our hands!" I exclaimed, "Although instead of the road not taken, he is choosing the path not yet taken."

I looked at my Oldest One and he said anxiously, "I want to go, too." And typically a more cautious child, he added, "But, I want you to come with me." I agreed to go with him if he lead the way. He followed behind the Littlest One who was busy pushing his way through the twigs and I could tell that he was getting a bit frustrated by the way that he was being lead. I encouraged my Oldest One to look around and choose his own way to go. "You don't have to follow right behind him. There might be a way to do it that is better for you." After looking around a bit and getting tangled up in some vines, he made his way to the other side of the woods and exclaimed, "I made it!!"

The Path Not Yet Taken

A few moments later, a proud almost-three-year-old emerged into the clearing as well. The couple hours in nature had given us many opportunities to learn about ourselves and each other. It allowed us to trust in our own abilities and to know we could rely on each other for support when needed. It gave me space to see my children in a new light and to give them the space they needed to develop confidence in themselves. I know that this adventure will be similar to many adventures we will face as a family. There will be times when we will need to forge a new path. There will be times when we will need to go it alone and others when we will need to hold on to each other for support. There will be times in my children's lives when they will need to decide to either follow someone else's way or to go the way that is best for them. And through all of these adventures, we will need to use our imaginations, our belief in ourselves, and our love for one another. For every path taken eventually leads to home.

Namaste~
Amber

Just One

One step onto the yoga mat
One word written on the page
One brush stroke onto canvas
One bead upon a string

One note sung in the shower
One seed planted in the ground
One stride down the street in running shoes
This is all that it takes I have found

To ignite a spark from deep within
To carry me through the shouldn'ts.
Just one thing which has more power
Than years and years of wouldn'ts.

When life seems daunting
and dreams too big
Just remember this
Take just one step, and then another,
and you're less likely to miss.

Reflections on Today

Feeling drained
Stretched way too thin
I take a moment and go within
Touching a calm reserve to refill and then
I'm ready to greet this day.

Emotions high
Riding waves of mad
My son comes to me
Upset with all that is bad
I breathe with him and tell him that I'm glad
He's here with me this day.

Stories shared
With friends so dear
Kindred spirits in which to hear
Our heart's desires and our greatest fears
I cherish this time today.

It's days like this
When the covers are drawn
Kids tucked in bed
and I stifle a yawn
When I take a moment
and sort out what's been done
I am thankful for days like today.

Peaceful Sacred Moment

Our silent (or at least whisper) lunch by candle and Christmas light today. A sweet transition into nap time on this rainy day.

Beating the Bathtime Boredom

I'll admit it. I have been a slacker in keeping my kids clean. I mean, they aren't walking around in complete filth, but it has been a few days since their last bath. When the weather gets colder, they aren't outside splashing in the mud puddles or sweating all day. The most that happens is that they get some paint or cookie dough on them which is easily wiped off. Plus, with more evening activities that have popped up lately, I just don't have it in me for the bath, brush teeth, pj, books, bed routine in it's entirety several nights a week. So...today, we got creative.

This Sunday was a day that needs to happen every now in again for us to recharge our batteries. Nothing on the schedule. We lounged in our pajamas all morning. The children built 'machines' out of cardboard boxes and tape, played pretend the laundry baskets, and read some books in between my laundry, craft projects, and writing while drinking coffee. It got to be about 10am and they were getting a bit stir crazy. We were at the point where I would normally say on cold days like today, "Okay...we need to get out of the house for awhile. Who wants to go play at the mall play area?" But...it's a couple weeks before Christmas. Which means I do NOT go in the mall with children on the weekend. Period. So, I proposed a wacky solution. "How about we do things kind of backwards and you take a bath in the morning?" You would have thought I suggested that they eat ice cream for dinner based on how excited they were. I sweetened the deal by offering to let them paint with colored shaving cream on the shower walls AND to make it a bubble bath. They were in the bathroom and undressed within two seconds. (Which is completely opposite of how I normally have to beg, plead, or make getting ready for bath a competition to get them in there most nights.)

What happened next? An hour of pure, creative, engaged wonder and learning.

Shaving Cream and Food Coloring mixed in a Muffin Tin

We started by adding the shaving cream to each section, then I added blue, red, and yellow food coloring. I used one drop for the top row, two for the second, and three for the third. Then I mixed it up and gave them each a paint brush. As they dipped their paint brushes in and created art on the shower walls, we discussed many concepts such as light, medium, dark; which two primary colors mixed together make each secondary color; what happens when you paint under water; and they used their brushes to make different shapes, letters, and numbers. Although I enjoyed getting this "academic" talk in, they mostly enjoyed the process of watching the shaving cream drip down the side of the wall, reaching up high and down low to paint on a big surface, and painting on themselves and their baby dolls. We even discussed Jackson Pollack, an artist that we had studied a little before. They were able to try splatter painting like they had seen Pollack do in the YouTube video they had watched. (I pulled the shower curtain closed on that one...) After about thirty minutes, the water was getting cold and they were ready to get out.

Discussing color mixing, Jackson Pollack, and which hair color their babies should have.

The morning continued on in it's active play, with the Littlest One taking his baby doll into his room and pretending to put him to sleep and the Biggest One spending another twenty minutes pretending with cars in the shower. There was no nagging, no warning of time limits, no persuading...just simple, open-ended play for the fun (and cleanliness) of it. And for this Mama, it was one of those moments which made my heart feel full of magic and pure love.

Namaste~

Cooling Calm

Collage Work

Comforting Warmth

Collage Work

Burning Dusk

The Sky is aglow with embers of light

as the Sun bids farewell tonight.

Even Rudolph Got the Blues

Tis the season for holiday crafts... My Oldest One (just turned five) is enrolled in a parent co-op preschool three mornings per week. As part of the co-op aspect, I volunteer there about once a week as a parent helper. An early childhood educator at heart, this satisfies my need to be in a classroom, yet also allows me to interact with a larger group of children without being the "one in charge". A refreshing change of pace after operating a full day/week child care program from my home during the previous year. 

This morning, the children were encouraged to make "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" using a large brown triangle, two white squares that they could cut into eyes, and a red square that they could cut into a nose. They also had traced their hands previously and the teacher had cut them out to be used for the antlers. I was sitting at a table helping a few children work on their projects. (This could be a whole separate post about open-ended art activities and helping children work through frustrations due to not quite mastering a fine motor skill that is needed for a project...but I will save them for another day.)  This post is reserved for what my son showed me when he completed his Rudolph. 

I asked him to tell me about his picture. He said, "Rudolph was sad because his friends were teasing him and wouldn't let him play with them." Of course! The lyrics are:

"All of the other reindeer

used to laugh and call him names.

They never let poor Rudolph

join in any reindeer games."

The fact that my sensitive, passionate, imaginative child identified with these lyrics and expressed how Rudolph must have been feeling through both his drawing and verbally touched my heart. 

I was observant to see how he would further explore this portion of the story and I didn't have to wait long. A few minutes later, the children were lining up and my Oldest One tried to get in line behind someone towards the front (aka butting in line). The little girl gave a tiny bump with her elbow to him and told him that she had to be there and he needed to go to the end of the line. He dramatically in slow-motion style fell to the floor and lay there as children walked around him, stepped over him, and the teacher tried to persuade him to get up so that he didn't get stepped on. I stood back for a few moments to see how he would react to her requests, but then he started kicking his legs, so I stepped in close. "That is not safe. You could get hurt or you could kick or trip another friend. Let's come over here until you are ready to stand up," I told him as I was lifting him to his feet. He then let out a loud wail and began to sob. "They are laughing at me! They are making fun of me!" He crawled over to the corner of the room and continued to cry and say, "I don't like them! They are not my friends!" 

Luckily, at this preschool there are three adults for a group of thirteen children. This means that if a child needs some one-on-one time, there are enough adults there to maintain a safe ratio for the children and give the individual the attention they need at that moment. I told the other parent helper and teacher I would stay in the room with the couple children finishing up their projects and we would join them once my Oldest One was ready. After the children left, I knelt down beside him and put my arms around him. As he sobbed into my shoulder, I said quietly, 

"You wanted to stand in line, but you got pushed didn't you?" 

"Yah! And they were laughing at me!" he replied.

"Well, I am not sure that they were really laughing AT you, I think they thought you were being silly laying on the floor," I responded. 

"Nu-uh!" he exclaimed.

"You weren't being silly were you? You were feeling mad and frustrated and then your feelings were hurt...right?" I asked.

"Yah!"

"Well, let's sit here together until our other friends finish their projects and then we will go check out what is going on in the other room," I suggested.

He curled up in my lap and we breathed together for a few moments. I asked him to hug me as hard as he felt mad, sad, silly, frustrated, and happy. He squeezed in varying degrees for each suggestion and we ended with a smile and a giggle. He then helped me pick up the few remaining art supplies on the table once the other children had left the room, then we walked over to join his class where he played happily with his friends the rest of the morning. 

I share this narrative with you for many reasons. One is that I would have NEVER responded in this calm manner six months ago. I credit many other early childhood advocates who's blogs, websites, and Facebook posts inspire me to focus on connection before behavior. I have learned through them that a 'tantrum' or expressing 'negative' emotions isn't something that should be controlled, shut down, or distracted. Children NEED to express these emotions and fears so that they move through them and are not bottled up inside...something I am still learning how to do as an adult. What children need most is an observant, loving person as their secure base. They need to have space to burn off some of the negative energy in a safe space, to affirm what they are feeling verbally, and then to talk through what happened with an understanding and a gentle touch in their own time.

Another reason I share this with you is that both children and adults can all learn a lot through this sad Rudolph (and my sad Oldest One acting out what he had been afraid of by this story.) It does feel hurtful when we are made fun of, not included, or made to feel different. Sometimes the fear of possibly being laughed at stands in our way of expressing our greatest potential. For Rudolph it was his shining nose that helped Santa. For the rest of us, it might be our passion, our creativity, or our truth.

I wish for you that you don't let some jealous reindeer get in the way of your dreams. I also wish that you have the freedom to express yourself and all that it encompasses with loving kindness.

Namaste~

Our Snowy Day

This morning was our town's first snow of the season. The Littlest One upon looking out the window into the hushed glowing hue, exclaimed "We have Snow White!" With a morning to drink in the loveliness of an approaching winter, and enough energy fueled by the four little boys in my home, we set out to make our first snow day the Best Snow Day Ever!

First on the agenda was a newspaper "snowball" fight to have a practice run before we were outside with the real stuff. This is a very important step for sensitive ones who are too young to remember snow ball fights from previous years. There are certain ground rules for the game that are more easily forgiven when dealing with dry paper balls softly crumpled. Almost no one likes a wet, cold snowball thrown right in the face.  (Ask the person before you throw at them. Aim for below their shoulders. If someone gets upset, the throwing stops until we check on them.) The fight was a full blown giggle fest with the only injury being when I accidentally bonked the Littlest One in the face with my foot. Oops! After 10 minutes or so, we were ready for some breakfast and onto the next project.

 

Although a bit blurry, I am hoping that you can see the smiles that shown as we completed our very own fort complete with Christmas Lights. A kitchen table, a huge stack of blankets and pillows, and some imagination made this space a perfect place for them to hide and play.

After the boys pretended with their 'fort', 'cave', and 'boat', we washed hands and set out to make gingerbread men cookies. Last week we had read Gingerbread Baby by Jan Brett. We were ready to make our own gingerbread men, women, and children. The children helped add ingredients (yes, I cheated and did a store bought mix), stir, roll the dough, and cut out the cookies. As they came out of the oven, we bundled up and headed outdoors to enjoy the snow while they cooled.

 

There is nothing more joyful than a child playing in the first snow of the season. They threw handfuls and shovelfuls into the air, shouting, "IT'S SNOWING!" They squealed with delight as they chased me around the yard, throwing snowballs as fast as they could scoop them. They piled snow onto the slide and watched it slip quickly down onto the ground. Finally cold and wet, we left nature's playland and headed inside for some warm tea.


A few squirts of icing and a couple gumdrops and raisins later, we were enjoying our gingerbread men. Today I learned that it is the simple pleasures in life that bring the greatest joy. Some crumpled up newspaper, a stack of blankets and a table, fresh snow, some cookies and tea. These are the things that make my heart feel warm with love for my children, the earth, and my life.

Warm Wishes to You During Your Snowy Days

Namaste ~

Wonderer and Wanderer. This is Me.

By day, I romp through rain puddles, dig in the garden, sculpt play dough, and share a book and a snuggle with my two young boys and husband. By night, I read, write, dream, and stand tall in warrior pose or rest deep with a pair of wool socks and some tea. Creativity and meditation is woven through my life as best as I know how. Each day is lived in wonderment as my heart learns how to wander through this world a little more open and free. Lessons are learned within the mundane moments of life. With an open heart, even the most ordinary days can turn out to be the most memorable.

Where does my heart wander when it feels secure, safe, and loved? To joyful simplicity, to deep authentic relationships, to radical self care, and to uninhibited creativity. These are the things I wish to share. Where does your heart lead you when you listen to it's hopeful whisper, it's wise knowing, or it's desperate plea?